Alaaf, Helau are you ready,
Welcome to the crazy time!
We know this from The X-Files,
but Mulder's call won't help here,
it comes through rays from the cosmos,
and suddenly it's Carnival.
On one day, everyone acts silly,
because that's what the date commands, really.
It's the time of the crazy days,
a kind of plague of idiots,
a conspiracy to become foolish,
that spreads yearly across the earth.
A true spawn of hell,
and the starting point is Mainz and Cologne.
For there’s not just RTL,
the television uniformity cartel,
but also plenty of fools,
who stick paper noses on,
grouping in devilish sects,
then forming into the Elferrat,
and then even the dumbest pig,
has to be cheerful on command.
Suddenly in all countries,
people change quite drastically.
They go out to drink without restraint,
and buy strangers free beer,
throwing candies at heads,
groping boys and also girls
and do every person they see,
terribly annoy them.
They only speak in rhymes now
and are so funny, one could break,
moving in polonaises,
as if they were wearing brain prostheses,
one would like to - in confidence -
preferably punch them in the face.
But what can one do against it?
Should one perhaps just laugh about it?
No screaming or cursing helps,
one can't even get vaccinated against it,
the power of the fools is too strong,
for one to be able to defend oneself.
The best thing is to stay at home,
and simply shut out the madness.
One locks oneself in for a few days,
and lets the idiots be idiotic!
The trick is to get lost,
until Ash Wednesday comes again.
And if a zombie stands at the door,
with such a paper-nose sore,
and instead of "Hello" only says "Helau",
then turn around, you stupid sow,
and kick her hard in the ass,
and shout "Narrhalla March"
Helau!
Welcome to the crazy time!
We know this from The X-Files,
but Mulder's call won't help here,
it comes through rays from the cosmos,
and suddenly it's Carnival.
On one day, everyone acts silly,
because that's what the date commands, really.
It's the time of the crazy days,
a kind of plague of idiots,
a conspiracy to become foolish,
that spreads yearly across the earth.
A true spawn of hell,
and the starting point is Mainz and Cologne.
For there’s not just RTL,
the television uniformity cartel,
but also plenty of fools,
who stick paper noses on,
grouping in devilish sects,
then forming into the Elferrat,
and then even the dumbest pig,
has to be cheerful on command.
Suddenly in all countries,
people change quite drastically.
They go out to drink without restraint,
and buy strangers free beer,
throwing candies at heads,
groping boys and also girls
and do every person they see,
terribly annoy them.
They only speak in rhymes now
and are so funny, one could break,
moving in polonaises,
as if they were wearing brain prostheses,
one would like to - in confidence -
preferably punch them in the face.
But what can one do against it?
Should one perhaps just laugh about it?
No screaming or cursing helps,
one can't even get vaccinated against it,
the power of the fools is too strong,
for one to be able to defend oneself.
The best thing is to stay at home,
and simply shut out the madness.
One locks oneself in for a few days,
and lets the idiots be idiotic!
The trick is to get lost,
until Ash Wednesday comes again.
And if a zombie stands at the door,
with such a paper-nose sore,
and instead of "Hello" only says "Helau",
then turn around, you stupid sow,
and kick her hard in the ass,
and shout "Narrhalla March"
Helau!
